Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Mind Full
In my office at SJSU, just looking through my old posts and old friends on MySpace. I don't use it much anymore, but it is interesting to see those people that have sort of fallen by the wayside over the years. Some are gone because of a falling out of some kind, some just faded away. Still sad no matter what.
I love my friends. I am the sort of guy who doesn't waste time on needless acquaintences just for the sake of popularity. So, its disheartening to look back on certain friendships that were once part of my life if not a core part. In some cases, there is the whole "growing apart" thing. I know I have changed in many ways in the past five years. Marriage and new paths my career have been a big part of that. Along the way, I have shed some old friends beccause I felt that I was moving on into maturity and they were lingering behind in late adolescence. That may sound really conceited, but that is important to me.
Then there are those that just aren't around anymore. We didn't grow apart, we just moved apart. I have maintained some of those friendships to this day. I love that Liesl is still a big part of my life eleven years later. And Cap'n Rainbow (Mel) is still there too. I guess the gist of all of this is a look at how the landscape of my life has changed when it comes to the people in it.
I like the way things are now, and I know it won't always stay this way. The cast of characters in my show (so to speak) will change with time. But for now, I am thankful for who is around right now. Peace...
In my office at SJSU, just looking through my old posts and old friends on MySpace. I don't use it much anymore, but it is interesting to see those people that have sort of fallen by the wayside over the years. Some are gone because of a falling out of some kind, some just faded away. Still sad no matter what.
I love my friends. I am the sort of guy who doesn't waste time on needless acquaintences just for the sake of popularity. So, its disheartening to look back on certain friendships that were once part of my life if not a core part. In some cases, there is the whole "growing apart" thing. I know I have changed in many ways in the past five years. Marriage and new paths my career have been a big part of that. Along the way, I have shed some old friends beccause I felt that I was moving on into maturity and they were lingering behind in late adolescence. That may sound really conceited, but that is important to me.
Then there are those that just aren't around anymore. We didn't grow apart, we just moved apart. I have maintained some of those friendships to this day. I love that Liesl is still a big part of my life eleven years later. And Cap'n Rainbow (Mel) is still there too. I guess the gist of all of this is a look at how the landscape of my life has changed when it comes to the people in it.
I like the way things are now, and I know it won't always stay this way. The cast of characters in my show (so to speak) will change with time. But for now, I am thankful for who is around right now. Peace...
Monday, October 26, 2009
Catching Breath, Mapping A Course
It has been a typically busy semester for me. Not like that is any big surprise as far as the status quo is concerned. My six years on this blog are riddled with stories of frenetic nights of writing papers and tending to rehearsals. What makes this semester different that the others is the impetus on scholarship.
Before, I was only a cursory writer when the classes demanded it. I wrote well, but only to the extent that an undergrad was expected to. Now, I face much tougher scrutiny of my work. Everything is picked through with a fine-tooth comb and my every word is criticized by teachers who long ago earned their doctorates. This puts me in an awkward situation.
When I was working towards my BA, my writing was well honed but not what you would call expertly scholarly. I am proud of the work I did, but looking back on it is embarrassing by my current standards.
Now I sit in seminars where the very construction of my work is picked apart and held up to the harsh light of literary criticism. The most interesting part of it is that I don't mind it nearly as much as I thought I would. I mean, I care of course. I am very protective of my creations, whatever medium they may be. But now, I really am taking the evaluations and using them to my advantage.
I have two 15 page papers due in the next month before I leave for China. In my younger years I would have dreaded this challenge. But now, it is barely a bead of sweat upon my brow. I guess I am growing into this collegiate life I have set in front of me. Feels good. Peace...
It has been a typically busy semester for me. Not like that is any big surprise as far as the status quo is concerned. My six years on this blog are riddled with stories of frenetic nights of writing papers and tending to rehearsals. What makes this semester different that the others is the impetus on scholarship.
Before, I was only a cursory writer when the classes demanded it. I wrote well, but only to the extent that an undergrad was expected to. Now, I face much tougher scrutiny of my work. Everything is picked through with a fine-tooth comb and my every word is criticized by teachers who long ago earned their doctorates. This puts me in an awkward situation.
When I was working towards my BA, my writing was well honed but not what you would call expertly scholarly. I am proud of the work I did, but looking back on it is embarrassing by my current standards.
Now I sit in seminars where the very construction of my work is picked apart and held up to the harsh light of literary criticism. The most interesting part of it is that I don't mind it nearly as much as I thought I would. I mean, I care of course. I am very protective of my creations, whatever medium they may be. But now, I really am taking the evaluations and using them to my advantage.
I have two 15 page papers due in the next month before I leave for China. In my younger years I would have dreaded this challenge. But now, it is barely a bead of sweat upon my brow. I guess I am growing into this collegiate life I have set in front of me. Feels good. Peace...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Rain Makes Me Feel Introspective
It is pouring outside, and there aren't any signs of it letting up any time soon. First big storm of the year and it is royally messing up life in San Jose for lot of people. An inconvenience? Yes. But after Chicago, this isn't as hard to deal with. Coping with snow makes you realize how easy it is to just have rain. Made me start thinking of Chicago and how much has changed and where I was just one year ago.
I was working for Hub Group and hating it already. My apologies to those of you who work in that field, but I couldn't derive one bit of satisfaction from that job other than the paycheck and teaching others how to do the job once I had established myself. Cublicles are just not for me.
Getting to work sucked. Nothing more eloquent than that. 20+ miles, traffic, and the aforementioned weather made it impossible to start or end the day on a good note. Got to work pissed off, came home pissed off. Nicole has even mentioned the marked difference in my demeanor now that my commute is simpler here in San Jose.
I won't get into things much further. I have said it all before. I have tried not to call Chicago a "failed experiment", but I just can't help it. It didn't work. But lately, rather than dwell on what didn't click, I have been loving what has.
I am happy. Our apartment is cozy (if not a bit dirty at the moment), I am extremely happy with Nicole and married life in general, my Masters is going very well, my sound design for the last show I did came out great, I am getting more hours at work and I am heading to China in about a month. Best part of all of this is that I am not lonely anymore. That was the worst part of Chicago. No friends. Didn't really have time to make any with having to work so much. I did have some family there, but it was hard to see them on any kind of regular basis. But last night, had dinner with my parents on a last minute whim. Gotta love it.
Sigh... It is just good to be back. Time for office hours. Peace...
It is pouring outside, and there aren't any signs of it letting up any time soon. First big storm of the year and it is royally messing up life in San Jose for lot of people. An inconvenience? Yes. But after Chicago, this isn't as hard to deal with. Coping with snow makes you realize how easy it is to just have rain. Made me start thinking of Chicago and how much has changed and where I was just one year ago.
I was working for Hub Group and hating it already. My apologies to those of you who work in that field, but I couldn't derive one bit of satisfaction from that job other than the paycheck and teaching others how to do the job once I had established myself. Cublicles are just not for me.
Getting to work sucked. Nothing more eloquent than that. 20+ miles, traffic, and the aforementioned weather made it impossible to start or end the day on a good note. Got to work pissed off, came home pissed off. Nicole has even mentioned the marked difference in my demeanor now that my commute is simpler here in San Jose.
I won't get into things much further. I have said it all before. I have tried not to call Chicago a "failed experiment", but I just can't help it. It didn't work. But lately, rather than dwell on what didn't click, I have been loving what has.
I am happy. Our apartment is cozy (if not a bit dirty at the moment), I am extremely happy with Nicole and married life in general, my Masters is going very well, my sound design for the last show I did came out great, I am getting more hours at work and I am heading to China in about a month. Best part of all of this is that I am not lonely anymore. That was the worst part of Chicago. No friends. Didn't really have time to make any with having to work so much. I did have some family there, but it was hard to see them on any kind of regular basis. But last night, had dinner with my parents on a last minute whim. Gotta love it.
Sigh... It is just good to be back. Time for office hours. Peace...
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Full Schedule
Hectic. Overused on this blog, but true all the same. Papers due for Masters classes, preparations for my trip to China, finishing sound design for The Colored Museum, and having a social life. You see... this is why I came back.
Missing my friends since I have no time to see them, and missing my family for the same reason. I feel really out of the loop in many arenas. Not much I can do though since I signed on for this myself.
Back to work. Peace...
Hectic. Overused on this blog, but true all the same. Papers due for Masters classes, preparations for my trip to China, finishing sound design for The Colored Museum, and having a social life. You see... this is why I came back.
Missing my friends since I have no time to see them, and missing my family for the same reason. I feel really out of the loop in many arenas. Not much I can do though since I signed on for this myself.
Back to work. Peace...
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